Secret Draco Malfoy
by EyeMyst
Summary: The Malfoy you have come to know, and to dislike or sympathise with is an act! He hides away who he really is...only he knows the real Draco Malfoy...


**A/N This is my first attempt at a Harry Potter Fanfic :) Read and Review please!  
EyeMyst**

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What more do they want from me? I let them brand me! I've pledged my elegance to the Dark Lord. And yet they still pester and force me to do more!

Now they wish me to kill Dumbledore! I don't want to kill him! I can't kill him! But if I don't then they're going to kill me and my family!

The dank bathroom was empty, for this I'm grateful. I Draco Malfoy shall not be known to cry. I shall not cry in front of anyone.

It just feels like I have no one in the world who I can trust.

Everyone I know will tell the Dark Lord of send a message somehow to the death eaters about my pathetic excuses for not doing my duty.

The tears streamed down my face. I turned on the tap and washed my face.

I have to stop coming here. Someone will find me. I can't let that happen.

Myrtle was here. At least I could talk and cry in front of her, she's too wrapped up in her own misery to care for me.

She came again. Crying and begging me to stop, she's not one to talk but I appreciate her time.

If only I had someone who would listen to me for real. Not a ghost. I want to be loved. Mother loves me, not more than her precious Dark Arts or Death Eaters, but she loves me a little.

Father always wants more from me. Yes, I idolize him. I just want to make him happy. I just want him to look at me and be proud for once of something I do.

Thinking of mother and father made more tears just flood down my face.

My throat was dry. I couldn't do it! I can't do it! I've tried! It just won't work!

I need help, but there's no one to give it me.

Looking into the mirror I could see my red eyes, the shiny tracks where my tears had run, and a face at the door.

"Potter!"

The battle that ensued was short, I was infuriated by his intrusion into my private business.

The anger coursed through me, infecting my mind.

I tried to hit him with an unforgivable curse.

He cut me short with his own incantation.

I could feel the searing pain and then the warm sticky blood.

Am I to die here? It would take a weight from my shoulders. A great weight.

I could think only of freedom. Freedom of this world. Of the demands of the people within it.

Let me go...

Professor Snape barged into the bathroom.

He bent over me muttering a counter curse that sounded like song.

The relief spread through my blood. Helping me regain my sanit.

I must not waste time recovering. I needed to continue.

Damn it Potter!

He dragged me up to the Hospital wing, the matron there fussed over my wounds and Snape staying to make sure I was fine.

I'm not a child anymore!

I want to leave. I have to get back to my work.

They'll kill me! They'll kill me!

I need to go!

After the matron left I sat up.

She instantly ran back.

"No, no, no! You must rest!"

"I have to go! I have to! I've got to go!"

"No you will rest, or I will call the headmaster."

Oh you do that woman, then I can kill him in front of you.

No!

I can't! Can I?

It's not a question! I must! Or my family will die!

I can't let that happen.

I have to make my family proud, if this is the only way...so be it.

Doesn't make it any easier though.

Dumbledore was such a powerful wizard. Trying to kill him straight off wouldn't work. He'd overpower me quickly.

My plan is the only one that will work, but how can I do it when it just won't work!

Lying awake all night...plans...hopes...half dreams, all circling around me.

This place was annoying. I need to be upstairs working not lying here doing nothing.

Need to work! Have to plan!

I want to talk to someone. But I can't!

Crabbe and Goyle just are too stupid to understand the inner struggle I'm facing. Pansy won't understand she'll just simper. I don't need that right now.

Potter has intelligent friends, and I envy him for it. Well Granger seems to have a brain I don't think Weasley knows what a brain is.

Silent tears squeezed themselves out of the corners of my eyes.

I sighed, it was no use. How could I fix it? No one will help me.

No one can. Borgin didn't even know how to fix it, o how can I fix it.

I will fix it to make father proud.

They will love me if I can pull this off.

It's all in my head. I can do it! I will do it! I have to do it.

Grim determination, I could feel it. etched onto my face. Carved into every line caused by worry.

I-I must...


End file.
